come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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