he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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