There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I will pee on everything he values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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