Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize