Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize