i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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