I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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