Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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