With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
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I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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