So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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