He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize