It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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