there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize