Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She even gives head with a lisp.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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