I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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