he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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