Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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