Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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