yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
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I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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