Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
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for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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