i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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