I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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