So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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