Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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