AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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