he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize