So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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