Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have tasted many bathrooms
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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