So drunk its hurt
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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