Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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