i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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