the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize