I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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