Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
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dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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