i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize