I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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