I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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