happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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