We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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