My room smells like vodka and shame
Just cropdusted the office
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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