remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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