So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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