I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize