ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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