I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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