dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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