He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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