did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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