They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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