i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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